Back to my train of thought before it was so easily derailed.  Formula, ah yes.

Formula.  A recipe for something powerful.  I used to see FORMULA written on the sides of early 90′s Pontiac Firebirds in high school and think, “that car probably hauls ass!”  The word seems to evoke a successful and possibly secret concoction, as if the GM engineers spent years pining away at what they could do to be able to slap that word on the side of one of their vehicles.  In truth, it was just a big V-8 with some fancy ground effects and maybe an exhaust kit.  It was like finding out Santa Claus was fake all over again.

In Tucson, Kyra and I used to cook all the time and I was amazed at how different flavors seemed to work together to create a taste sensation.  I will admit I was usually the one without faith.  ”You want me to put that into the pot?”  In the end, it was always a perfect combination that worked well and tasted great.

I see this patten in life.  There are things that we can add to our lives that will create happiness, success, health and well-being.  There IS a formula.  These things exist and we can choose how we embrace them.  Do we want the logo on a sports car for the world to see?  Or, do we want the pot of soup, jumbled and chaotic, that tastes fucking delicious?

I realize now that I have chased superficial happiness in the past.  I was the DB driving around in a Pontiac FORMULA Firebird.  But, I just traded that bitch in on a set of Farberware.  

Greg

FLASHBACK – 1 month ago…

I went to Guitar Center and was thinking about buying a guitar.  After years of telling myself that learning to play guitar was either too hard or that I did not have the dexterity, I decided to chart my own course.  So, I went to the local guitar bazaar and took a look at what they had to offer.  But, when I was given a recommendation and handed a guitar by a sales rep, I must have looked like a virgin about to have sex for the first time.  I had no idea what I was doing.  Sure, I had fooled around and played a guitar here and there, but there was this feeling within me where I felt like a phoney.

CUT TO:  Today

I went to Guitar Center.  Only today, I sat down with a Taylor, a Martin and a Gibson and was able to sense their individualities and their different strengths and weaknesses.  Now, I am in no way a skilled guitarist.  In fact, if you called me a hack, I would be honored.  That being said, today I felt as if I was progressing towards my goal and that sense of accomplishment was real satisfying.  I was able to hold the guitars, play some chords and actually interact with the instrument.  Simply amazing.

Greg

So, by design, if we take away the elements of our world and tear down the walls of our comfort, what is at the core?  When we are alone with our own mind, without distraction, can we be at peace or are we struggling to bear the eerie silence.  Do we crave distraction?

I pondered this thought as I was drinking coffee at a local breakfast joint here in town.  I have gone about a month without a television, without an online game, without any of the countless items that became who I was.  For me, the process has been amazing and is continually evolving.

So, now, I ask…

In the absence of our world, what can we do for ourselves?  I say simply, “much.”

At one point in the open forum portion of the ceremony, one of Brian’s friends stood up and said, “I think we can all agree that Brian deserves one final standing ovation.”  Imagine the scene as 200+ people all stood up in front of a flag-draped casket and clapped incessantly for what seemed like forever.  It was cathartic at first, then powerful and ultimately, perfect.  A moment I won’t soon forget.

Life happens to us all and we begin to go our ways, but there are always a group of people with whom time seems to stop.  It’s almost as if our brief interactions are one long consecutive event that has spanned our years of friendship.  We gather for special occasions here and there and I can tell you that I always enjoy his presence.  He’s the goofy guy with no fear, the brother who doesn’t follow your advice and the friend who always has your back.

Sadly, my friend has left us.

I heard the news only a few days ago and I was taken back.  First, by my immediate inability to acknowledge that it was the truth, “How can he be gone, he’s young, he’s a father, he has too much life to leave behind.”  Second, by my sobering reaction.  I must confess that I was unsure of how to respond.  I had known him for so many years, but never really considered him a great friend.  Sure, we always had a good time together and we both valued those moments.  But, we rarely spoke on the phone and our paths seemed to be crossing less and less as the years had gone by.

In lieu of my reaction, I was having a difficult time making a decision about attending the funeral.  Life got in the way and I was looking at this situation through the lens of a shrewd businessman.  I was trying to rationalize to myself why I could not attend amid the weight of emotion and guilt that I was choosing to ignore.  I was sick with myself.  And then it came to me; I was resisting the idea of his funeral because if I were to attend, it would be the finale to all those good times.  In essence, I would be closing a chapter of my life that I had not finished writing.

…a revelation…

Finally, the tears have come.  However late, yet laden with sincerity.  I embrace them, because I know that I need to do so; to honor my friend, to remember the good times and because he would do the same for me.  Brian…forgive me for the delay.

Anyways, I finally had a chance to see this movie.  Wow.  No Country For Old Men offers a powerful look at the age-old conflict between youth and their elders (a facsimile of our movie experience).  You witness the emergence of disturbing new ideas and their attempt to usurp the way that things have always been.  The emotion of the film is palpable and there is no break in the action.  Go see it. 

EDIT:  Now that is has won an Oscar for Best Picture, there is even more reason to check it out.  Avoid the matinee.

If you want to take a closer look at the procedural tech behind this game, visit the Spore site and take a tour. This will be one of those fun games that everyone will be talking about for years to come. Mark my words.

The good news is that I can move the chair and bring it with me wherever I go. So, while I may be uncomfortable right now, that will not always be the case.

The journey that was once more of a pilgrimage is nearing its conclusion.  Only a few days ago, the sight of downtown LA inspired an uncertain anxiety within me.  It was saying, “You, again?”  At the time, I could not muster any response.  But, as the days have gone by, we find ourselves in negotiations.  I have offered words of passion and dedication, but have been refused an outright commitment on her part.  Her blessing is elusive, but her presence is always welcoming.

There are always things to be considered with such a drastic change to one’s way of life.  But, I find myself capable, excited and confident in my ability to woo her to my side.  And if her favor can’t be won; well, we’ll just see about that.  

After several weeks of banging our calendars together, I was given the opportunity to meet with her.  I strolled into the coffee shop and found a woman plugging away on her iPhone and wearing a Burning Crusade t-shirt. It had to be her. After a few minutes, we settled into our respective views and began to get silly from there. She is a very interesting person who has had her pulse on the gaming world for years.  I learned about her artwork, the historical power inherent in a library and her current project that delves into the mystery surrounding games and their public perceptions.  After jamming for several hours, I came away with a sense of her passion and desire relative to games and gaming.

Take a look at her project and decide for yourself. It is currently in its exploratory phase so look for more information as she works to finish her independent research study later this year.

Needless to say, the reward was worth my efforts.  Thanks Liz.