Filed under: Greg Stuetze
I have recently been thinking about a friend of mine. We have known each other for a long time, reaching back to our reckless Eastside Tucson lives, where the only danger was arriving at the Jack in the Box late and missing the caravan of party bound teenagers. We never spent a great deal of time with each other, but I know him so well from other close friends and the good times we had when we were given the opportunity to hang out together. Quality superseded quantity. At one time I remember saying to myself, “I want to spend more time with this guy, he makes me laugh.”
Life happens to us all and we begin to go our ways, but there are always a group of people with whom time seems to stop. It’s almost as if our brief interactions are one long consecutive event that has spanned our years of friendship. We gather for special occasions here and there and I can tell you that I always enjoy his presence. He’s the goofy guy with no fear, the brother who doesn’t follow your advice and the friend who always has your back.
Sadly, my friend has left us.
I heard the news only a few days ago and I was taken back. First, by my immediate inability to acknowledge that it was the truth, “How can he be gone, he’s young, he’s a father, he has too much life to leave behind.” Second, by my sobering reaction. I must confess that I was unsure of how to respond. I had known him for so many years, but never really considered him a great friend. Sure, we always had a good time together and we both valued those moments. But, we rarely spoke on the phone and our paths seemed to be crossing less and less as the years had gone by.
In lieu of my reaction, I was having a difficult time making a decision about attending the funeral. Life got in the way and I was looking at this situation through the lens of a shrewd businessman. I was trying to rationalize to myself why I could not attend amid the weight of emotion and guilt that I was choosing to ignore. I was sick with myself. And then it came to me; I was resisting the idea of his funeral because if I were to attend, it would be the finale to all those good times. In essence, I would be closing a chapter of my life that I had not finished writing.
…a revelation…
Finally, the tears have come. However late, yet laden with sincerity. I embrace them, because I know that I need to do so; to honor my friend, to remember the good times and because he would do the same for me. Brian…forgive me for the delay.
